WHAT'S UP DOC?

            Here's one for Ripley's Believe-It-Or-Not: my GP (doctor) dumped me for refusal to break COVID lockdown just so I could trot over there for a mere routine check-up. I find myself thinking, Gee, if the global catastrophe were a nuclear war instead of a plague, would he expect me to crawl out of my bomb shelter and get irradiated, just so he could weigh me and take my blood pressure?

            In fact, his reaction (on the phone) was very reminiscent of a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, as he was in essence bawling, "Waaaa! If you don't come out and play with me right now, I'll never let you come play with me ever again in the future!" What a big baby, he is!

            So, in response to his letter "firing" me as a patient, I sent him this letter back:

This is to inform you that, no, I will not be seeking the services of a new GP. I'm sure that you know as well as I do that acquiring a new GP without actually going in to meet him or her would not be possible, and that, of course, going in to meet would involve the same problem that our quarrel concerned.

I have been in total lockdown since March 2020. If I were willing to break lockdown to go to a doctor's office, it would be to go to my dentist, because a lot of cavities have accumulated during this time; or, it would be to go to my optometrist, because my cataracts are much worse. But I will not do anything about either one of those, either, until Delta variant, Lambda variant, and whatever other variants come along, have been removed as a threat. I especially will certainly not take such a risk just so that you can get some Medicare and Aetna money into your pocket, which we both know is what is really behind this.

Due to my old age, I have had five different GPs during my life. Not one of the first four ever assumed that he had the right to summon me as if I were some sort of servant at his command. I have been baffled by this particular peculiarity of yours from the beginning, but until the world suffered a global lockdown, I put up with it, with just a shrug and a bewildered shake of my head. With all of the previous four, I went to see them when I had a need to do so, never otherwise, and none of them ever suggested that I should do otherwise.

Since you are uncaring enough to violate your Hippocratic Oath, and irresponsible enough to refuse to call in my prescriptions for petty reasons, I am informing you that, as refills run out, I will be off of one drug after another until all of them are gone. It will be interesting to see the results.

I have informed my heirs that if anything happens to me due to your neglect, they will know whom to sue with the help of my own attorneys. Lest you think that I am bluffing, understand this: I set three goals for myself after my husband died. I have already achieved all three. If I continue to live on, fine, and if I do not, I will be at peace. You, perhaps, may find life less peaceful, due to this ill-advised action of yours.